Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly green objects located in the blue area.
More coverage: http://onion.com
Today Now! has the story of an 8-year-old whose demand for never-ending wish fulfillment may force the Make-A-Wish Foundation to shut down.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
Breaking News, officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.
More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible.
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